The Third Call, A Blessing We Didn’t Want

Usually, adopting families don’t get any real-time contact with their adopting child before visiting or receiving guardianship. Sometimes, there’s time to schedule one video call, if the technology is readily available. In the cases of both Ruth and C, we have been able to have multiple video chats. With Ruth, we felt very lucky! Although she was pretty young and really had no idea what was going on.

But with C, it’s a little different. The title of this post might also be a bit alarming to read- who doesn’t want a blessing, right?! What I mean by that is, we weren’t even promised one Skype call with C because it’s not unusual for there to not be enough time. We have been very excited to talk to C each and every call, but I can’t help but think about how we are possibly setting a record for Skype calls before visiting…

With both the girls, I’ve always had very vivid dreams about meeting them for the first time. In typical dream fashion, it’s always very strange. But the feelings in there are tangible in a way that ALWAYS startles me awake. Without surprise, I had a dream like that about C last night. Not the first, and surely not the last. But the dreams leave me weary. It’s as if all the emotion I keep at bay during my conscious hours cascades out at night. If you have ever been uncontrollably excited about something that keeps getting postponed, that’s very much the battle we are facing. The struggle to reassure Allen and Ruth that C will be home one day, the battle to not allow the difficulties of adoption to take away from my yet-to-be-formed relationship with C (because bonding happens before meeting for parents and older siblings), and the constant surrendering of the worry and control and outcome back over to Jesus, because his shoulders can carry it. Not mine.

There are so many ifs right now. If the right officials could talk, perhaps a plan could begin that would let eligible families ready to travel be allowed to bring their child home. If some restrictions could be lifted, maybe families would be able to travel even this summer, and not wait until fall or even later. Or, what if the wait becomes so long C starts questioning our commitment to her. What if, because of the political turmoil in both our countries, we can’t come to a consensus at all, and the virus continues to spiral the world out of control.

That’s where we are- everything done and time to travel, but traveling is restricted. Calling our little bug for the third time and being pretty sure the next time we see her will be on another video call and not in person. But we are thankful still. C is doing great, her left side is getting more exercise and getting stronger. She looks very healthy and happy- I felt relief seeing her grab for her caregiver to hold her during the Skype call- she has adults in her life who love her and she trusts them completely. There are so many blessings in the midst of this storm- and I’m choosing to focus on those.

The highlights from our Skype call are as follows: C did NOT like the sound of loosing a tooth (Allen and Ruth both lost one recently and shared their experiences), and not even her cute light blue tooth bag enticed her to feel any different! She enjoyed seeing her Peppa Pig toys we scored at our town-wide garage sale a few weeks ago. As always, she requested a visit to Coco. She’s going to love him so much! Makes me glad he’s our puppy- he’s the perfect dog for kids, super chill and never rough, he takes all kinds of friendly abuse from Allen and Ruth. C will love him quickly!

Hearing her little voice say “daddy” might be the cutest thing ever. She very much likes to point to daddy and say his name on video calls. She also listened to the book we recorded for her and BIG ear-to-ear smile when daddy’s voice read the words! She didn’t want to say goodbye again, and was visibly more upset this time than last when it was time to go. That breaks our hearts a little bit, but we understand all she’s seeing right now is the new and exciting (mommy and daddy have the toys and clothes etc..): it will be a hard homecoming for her when she leaves the only home she’s ever known. I asked her if she was excited to fly on the plane, and after a few exchanges she asked about the carers and other children. So she understands enough to know that adoption may seem fun and exciting, but it also means leaving everyone she knows and loves. It will be a hard day, even though a forever family is on the other side of it all.

Continue praying for us, we need it. Thank you for supporting us, the home stretch is always the most challenging. We didn’t expect our challenge to involve a pandemic of historical proportions, but even that can’t stand in the way of the love God has given us for this sweet little girl.

We’re coming, little bug. We won’t give up.